I bought a pair of beautiful, hand-cut, crystal glasses for my expensive vodka. I’ll only drink expensive vodka. Straight. Over cubes of ice that crackle when the liquid coats and covers them. I relish the sound, the tinkering as they fall into the glass, and then the quiet crackle as the vodka washes over them.
The endless loop of drug use and how it protects me from myself.
The ritualistic actions and the aftermath of cocaine.
My ongoing challenges with codeine addiction.
Struggling with the reality of being sober and my first relapse.
How codeine came to be my best friend and why I am grieving its loss.